The lesson I'm learning in life is that it's All About HIM! Really, it is indeed all about God. But it doesn't stop there. It's all about HIM and me. You see, what I am learning is that God is a relational God and I have been made in His image. Everything in this world has been done because He loves me and wants a relationship with me.
When I look at my life in context of that truth, it changes everything. He is God. He is Alpha and Omega and knows my end from my beginning. He is Healer, Provider, Redeemer, Beloved. He is intimate, personal, loving, and mine. My whole life should not just be about Him, but about Him and me together. It should bless Him, honor Him, delight Him. It should recognize the fact that apart from Him I have no grace, no hope, no destiny, no meaning. I was created to walk with Him.
I used to have so many dreams for my life. They were great things, truly awesome endeavors. And I am equipped to make them a reality. I wanted to do them for Him. But here's the kicker of it all: I never asked Him if He wanted me to do them for Him. I had the revelation that it was all about Him and me together and I laid them all at His feet. He's asked me to leave most of them there, and pick up only a few of them. And He also gave me new dreams. He's a good God!
I want to accomplish only the things I've been called to. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less.
Right now, that means being a wife to my husband. A wife that loves him wholeheartedly, faithfully without distraction, and who builds him up so that he can fulfill his God-created purpose. I want to grow old with him, marking each day as a celebration of our love. I want to appreciate him daily and not overlook the mundane, routine tasks that he does so that we can have this life together and with our children. I want to create a haven at home for him to want to run to at the end of the day. I want to do more here. I want to learn to be joyful every day in my role as a wife, but more than that I want to find a way to realize the dreams we had when we were younger. I'm asking God about that.
It means being a mother to our three children and any others God gives us stewardship over in the years to come. It means loving them, delighting in them, training them. For us, it also means homeschooling them, which is an adventure and a challenge and a blessing. It means not being too tired, too busy, or too overwhelmed with "important tasks" to play with them, but to joyfully embrace any opportunity to be with them and enjoy the few short years they are little. It means creating a home for them to grow up safely in. I want to learn to do more with them each day -- cook, clean, play, and grow -- in a way that will equip them for eternity.
But I also have a dream to write and to capture moments of life with my camera. God has planted the seeds of two different books in my heart, and I know the time is coming when I will have them written and ready to place into His hands to do with as He wills. I know that when I pick up a camera, it is a way that I offer Him worship, but also a way to help provide for our family. If I had not time constraints, I would spend 2 hours a day writing and probably an hour (if not more) with a camera in my hands just learning and enjoying. I would like to accomplish something with these gifts, something tangible that I can share with my children one day. I have potential to do these things, and well, but they are not my primary focus right now.
This is my life. This is who I am. I've become much more simple in the last year to several months. If I had to sum it all up quickly:
I want it to be about You, God.
You and me, together -
intimately, truthfully, joyfully, lovingly, trustingly, and completely.
And I want to walk out every day of my life in a way that honors You
and completes the purposes You have for me.