Sometimes That Mirror Hurts!

I read a blog posting about a week ago that has just messed me up. It's turned me upside down, inside out, and shaken me up and all over the place. Why? I guess because it turned me towards the mirror and pulled all the ugly out to lay it in front of me so that I could see it clearly. It was about self-entitlement (when you're done here, go read it!). I've gone so far as to copy it into my journal to re-read it every morning and make me evaluate my attitude and actions and to help me focus on being a woman of God and not an idle, self-centered wife.

Self-entitlement meant that I would get indignant when someone expected something of me that I did not want to do, did not feel was my responsibility, or some such similar scenario. The author of the blog shares the attitudes, actions, and by-products of self-entitlement and then share the true things we entitled to. I am entitled to two things: (1) to love God with everything in me and (2) to love others they way God does. That's it. End of story.

You've got to click on the link above and go read it for yourself. It not only convicted me, but it gave me hope. It offered encouragement, peace, and the motivation to get it right. When I stopped feeling entitled, I stopped getting hurt and disappointed. That liberated me to walk in joy, in peace, and with compassion. It's been a great week since I embraced the simple yet powerful truths about self-entitlement and its effects. I wanted to toss that out there today just in case someone else might need it, too. God bless y'all!

Spring Cleaning: More Than Meets The Eye

I've done a lot of work in my home in the last 6 months. I made a desperate, last ditch attempt phone call to an expert organizer and begged her for help. This amazing woman of God and talented organizer helped me overcome not only physical clutter, but the behaviors and mindsets that had gotten me to this point (you can check out this article to see what a huge deal clutter is!). Growing up, I had kept anything with sentimental attachment or that had the potential to someday be useful. As an adult, that penchant for hanging onto things created an overwhelmingly large amount of clutter. I also allowed guilt to prevent me from purging my closets and boxes and under-the-bed bins.

Over an 11 week period, I cleaned out of our home a total of 200 large trash bags and boxes of "stuff." Since then, I've gotten rid of even more. I've parted with items that had memories attached by recognizing that I've still got those memories! Some of the items, I ended up taking a photo of and tucking the photo away since it takes up less space. The ironic part, though, is that of all that "stuff" that I fought to keep ... I barely remember what it is now. I am enjoying my new found freedom and lack of clutter. It gives me a mental clarity I've never had, a peace in my home that I hadn't yet experienced, and has even saved us quite a bit of money.

It occurred to me the other day that if getting rid of physical clutter could be this liberating, getting rid of mental and emotional clutter would be even more transformational! I began to dig through my past hurts and emotional ties, looking at they way that baggage still weighted me down today. Things from childhood still greatly affected my decisions in the present. I laid them at God's feet and left my clutter there. How light I feel! Then, just the other day, I stumbled across a wonderful blog by a beautiful sister entitled, "Spiritual Spring Cleaning." This encouraged me even further on my journey to make sure that I was getting rid of the junk and embracing the new delights of freedom, peace, and purpose that God has for me. I encourage to check out Joye's offerings and be blessed by her creative spirit and gift for encouragement.

Kitchen Table Musings

In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch! ~Psalm 5:3

Welcome to my first month sharing in the Kettle Club; I was so excited to become a part of this group hosted by the Exemplify Blog! Why, you ask? Because it whispers to a dream hidden deep inside my heart that I continue to pray for and anxiously await the fulfillment of. I dream that someday, my kitchen table will be surrounded by women one or more mornings a week, sharing in fellowship, Bible study, prayer, and the fulfillment of Titus 2. When I lived in northern Maine, I was blessed to find just such a group of older women who welcomed me to their table and nurtured my spirit and helped me learn about becoming a wife and mother when I was new at both. I learned that that tea and table ministry had been around for thirty years! What an amazing gift those women gave to their community; only God knows the number of miracles rooted at that table. Now I live about 1,500 miles away from those women and pray that my table will someday offer that same blessing. Until then, this is my table and I invite you to grab a cup, tip the kettle, and be blessed. This morning I am going to share my answers to the Kettle Club's March discussion questions, which also happen to coincide with Motivation Monday's contribution. Enjoy!

One way that I am starting to make sure I have consistent time in the Word is to stop limiting myself to doing it at a certain time. Paradoxical? Quite. Before, if I didn't get to read at 6 a.m., I'd feel like I failed for the day and I would give up. Now, I've worked it into our schedule so that after we eat breakfast, we take a family quiet time. Then, we all read something together. This is one of the beautiful parts about homeschooling. I am also trying to count myself a consistent member of the 5:16 Club, but I do need to work on being more consistent. Today is Motivate Me Monday over at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee and my motivation from the days is coming from the verses that have been my focus for the last month:

She looks after the ways of her home and is not idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed,
her husband praises her. ~Proverbs 30:27-28

I do use my New Living Translation Bible usually, but for the next 3 months I'm using the 90-Day Bible to read through all 66 books in 90 days. I also use the devotional My Utmost For His Highest (if you don't have it, get it ... you'll be so incredibly uplifted, motivated, and blessed by ~ my kids even have the children's version!).

This month, God has really brought me from learning about His Word to living His Word. It seems like every verse the Spirit highlights for me is a call to action and application. The biggest lesson I've had is about God's love and my righteousness. I am just not good enough for anything apart from Him. Even my love for my children isn't enough apart from His grace. He is teaching me to be wholly dependent and trusting, not holding back parts of my life. I thought I was living that way, but He's been showing me places where my grasp is just too tight and I need to let go and stand aside so that He can be God in my life. I am also focusing on being intentional with everything I put my hand to.

I have had to learn that idleness is not the same as doing nothing. It can be, but it also means to accomplish no work. That means that if I keep myself busy all day with the kids while my husband is at work, but do nothing around our home or building up our family, I have been idle. This was a bitter pill for me to swallow. I began to see how truly busy I was, but noticed a distinct lack of purposeful accomplishments. That is slowly changing, one day at a time, and it is blessing our home and has made a tremendous difference in my relationships with both my husband and our children.

I am going to try to memorize four new verses before our next Kettle Club meeting, so look for those in April's Kettle addition!

Beloved...

This has been one of my favorite picture/verse combos for a very long time. I think one of the most relevant things I've learned in the last few years as I build my relationship with Him is that I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine. A lot of folks forget the second half of the equation and just focus on belonging to God. When you belong to someone, it is their responsibility to take care of you, provide for you, nurture your dreams, and to help you through life. This is similar to the relationship between a parent and a child. However, when they belong to you as well, the relationship becomes symbiotic. You become to them what they are to you. It is give and take, in equal measure.

Most of us forget that part of our relationship with the King of Kings. We love being the object of His mercy and the recipient of His unfailing love and compassion. However, we forget to lavish Him with the same love He gives us. We are the apple of His eye, and too often He is at the corner of our line of sight. As you worship today, I challenge you to pour out from the depths of your being the love that you have for Him. Love Him for who He is and not merely what He does for you. Love Him and worship Him with reckless abandon, giving Him everything your being can muster. Recognize that not only are you His, but He is yours! Have a blessed Sunday and may you revel in the honor of loving the King.

Weekend Thought

We all like to take mental breaks on the weekend; we've all survived a week of work, family, and various other stresses. I know I'm a big fan of books and bubble baths or jammies and cartoons when I need to take a mental vacation. However, perhaps I've been going about this all wrong. Maybe, just maybe, there is a better way to empty the mind of clutter, bring peace to the soul, and find rest this weekend. It's called transformation. Romans 12:1 challenges to not conform to the world, but to renew our minds in the things of Christ. This results in transformation, proving that which is good and acceptable, and which the next verse assures us is the perfect will of God.

Take a few minutes, unplug from the world, and wrap yourself in the arms of your Beloved. He is calling out to you, waiting to give you rest this day. Find you peace in Him and rest securely knowing that there is no safer place to lay your heart than in His hands. Be transformed; find peace instead of worry, hope instead of despair, and joy instead of stress!

Rainy Reflections

This was a week of rain. Slow, steady, consistently falling rain. This morning when I looked out my back door, I could see puddles all throughout our yard, and the hole we are trying to fill in resembled a duck pond. But the grass was green, the trees looked vibrant, and the colors of spring were enhanced greatly by drops that clung to them. It crossed my mind that torrential downpours come so hard and fast that they erode at the earth and rush over it. It is the slow and steady rains that nurture it, providing much needed water for growth. Later that day when the sun came out, the earth looked more beautiful than it had before the rain.

Sometimes life seems like the torrents that flood from the heavens. They crash down on us and begin to erode the life we've so carefully erected. But grace and mercy are steady rains. They soak us, saturating us with God's love and nurturing us to grow in His fruits. When it's time to dance in the sun, we look even more beautiful for our time in His presence.

Like a Good Blueberry Muffin

I was reading this morning from the back pages of my Bible. Do you have those in yours? The blank pages behind Revelation, behind the index and the glossary? Mine are filled with jotted notes, sermon points I want to remember, and tidbits of wisdom I heard along the way.

One note in particular caught my eye: DANIEL WAS LIKE A GOOD BLUEBERRY MUFFIN! I remembered this sermon, and had to read through the notes after that. I want to start by giving thanks and credit to Brother Pierce who was a professor at Zion Bible Institute and gave this message in a chapel service on November, 4, 1998. I wonder if he'll ever know that over a decade later someone is being ministered to by his efforts on that day.

Okay, back to Daniel and his relationship to one of the best breakfast foods known to mankind. A good blueberry muffin isn't just muffin with one or two blueberries in it; it's chock full of blue berries in every bite! It has more berries than it does batter! A good Christian is one who is saturated with the things of God, whose life has God in every piece, and not just here and there. She is the woman of God who has more God than self, just like Daniel showed that his life had been permeated with the spirit of God.

The reason Daniel was so amazing is that he led a life of prayer. He was devoted to prayer and to time with God. He understood the idea of covenant with God, intimacy with Him, and devotion to Him. Brother Pierce shared 7 things that we can do to be like Daniel.

1. Be a person COMMITTED to prayer: Prayer is never an obligation, but always an opportunity. There is a difference between being someone who prays and being a person of prayer. Develop commitment.
   
2. Be a person CONSISTENT in prayer: This breeds intimate fellowship with the Almighty. Intimacy creates vulnerability. Be open to God; recognize that prayer is not just presenting a list of requests, but a genuine sharing with Him and a genuine receiving from Him.
   
3. Develop an EXCELLENT spirit: Daniel was faithful under pressure, manifested a godly attitude, and was molded to God's character. His time in prayer developed His excellent spirit and rubbed off on the rest of his life.
   
4. Be a GODLY person with a GODLY lifestyle: This is simply integrity. Consistent, honest, accountable. The Bible says that the prayers of a righteous man availeth much.
   
5. Know WHEN to pray: Know what God is saying now; He is a relevant God who will guide you today, specific to your life and your world.
   
6. Know WHAT to pray: Pray the heart of God and not the will of man. Submit your agenda to God. Dismiss the routine. Request God to give you His heartbeat.
   
7. Know HOW to pray: With determination, focus, supplication, and commitment. Daniel prayed in detail, with an honest heart, and humility.

Have a blessed day. Start it out right ... make yourself like a good blueberry muffin and invite God to saturate every part of your being, your home, your family. Spend some time in prayer trusting Him, hearing Him, and being intimate with Him.

Until tomorrow, my friends!

I wanted to piggy back off of a blog I read today just to encourage all of you. I want to share a precious memory. A year and a half ago, my family and I travelled out to the middle of absolutely nowhere (to a town where they gave directions by telling you which way to turn at "the" intersection ... yes, there was only one!). We did this to see a friend who was in a Master's Commission program do a church service. My kids missed her very much and were thrilled to see her. My daughter was 3 1/2 at the time, and my son just walking. At the end of the service they invited people up to pray. My darling little girl had tears streaming down her face and I, in my blindness, thought she was having a temper tantrum. This was not the case. She told me that Jesus wanted her to go and pray. As I went to walk up to the altar with her, she stopped me. She said, "Mommy, I just need to be with Jesus." For about forty five minutes she was up at the altar, praying and crying and when she came back to me, she told me that Jesus lived in her heart! WOW! I will always pray for the young woman, Renee, who prayed with her and took part in leading my daughter to the most precious place she has ever gone.

Last week, we talked about praying with sincere hearts and respectful attitudes. Princess is 5 now, and Little Man is 2 1/2. When it was his turn to pray at bedtime, he looked up at me and said, "I don't know how to do it right. Will you teach me to talk to God?" I just wanted to cry. What defining moments in my children's lives to have happen so young! We often overlook the importance of daily activities and little comments that we make. However, everything we do as parents profoundly impacts our children.

It is moments like these two that make me want to twirl with reckless abandonment through Fields of Grace with my Beloved! Be intentional as a parent today; sow into your children's lives. And be sure to share any special moments here to encourage other moms!

Time to Party Ladies!!! UBP 2009

Welcome to Fields of Grace
and thanks for visiting our party stop!

We will be dancing to the music below, munching on fresh fruit salad with a berry glaze, and sipping sparkling cider as we mingle. Grab a plate and glass, put on your dancing shoes, and come on in!



This blog is named after my favorite song, because it embodies the life I want to live daily! Please check it out below:


My name is Lisa and I'm a wife, mom, and avid writer. I'm fairly new to the blogging community, but I love not only writing my daily contribution but also linking up with the several blogs I love to follow regularly. I'd like to point you toward a handful that I find uplifting and that always give me something to think and smile about in the morning:

1. At the Well: In Pursuit of Titus 2
   
2. Like A Warm Cup of Coffee
3. Beautifully Adorned
   
4. Exemplify
   
5. The Great Adventure

This blog is fairly young, but to your left you will see a list of topics that I blog about. I am passionate about helping moms find the joy in life. I believe that we can all dance in fields of grace every morning, and throughout our day! I hope you'll take time to look through some of my daily offerings and interact with me, as well as give me the opportunity to follow you back to your blog so I can meet some new moms in this wonderful blogosphere.


The wonderful ladies at 5 Minutes for Mom are giving away prizes and we're supposed to list the cool ones we wouldn't mind winning, so here it goes: the Kitchen Aid mixer I've dreamed of for years (#58), a Sydney Andrews bracelet (#2), book on aromatherapy by Oils of Wellness (#11), Jenna's Jewels (#17), or the Target gift card (#21,22). I encourage you to check out this and other blogs during the party and get out there for some fun!

Truth -> Faith -> Thanksgiving

Let your roots grow down into him,
and let your lives be built on him.
Then your faith will grow strong
in the truth you were taught,
and you will overflow with thankfulness.
~Colossians 2:7

Trees, plants and people all share one thing: they need strong roots to grow well. The Bible is full of analogies about being well rooted by life-giving streams, of bearing fruit, and other details related to trees.

Paul exhorted the Colossian church to root themselves in Christ so that they would build their lives on Him through salvation, faith, and truth. The life rooted in Christ yields a strong faith based on Biblical truths. This sincere faith results in abundant gratefulness. Paul says, "Let your roots grow in [Christ] and your faith will be strong and you will overflow with thankfulness."

One can infer from this that a lack of thankfulness in one's life is the result of a faith that is not founded on total truth, or a life that is not fully rooted in Jesus. We need to walk our Christian faith out with intentional effort, nurturing it with daily Bible reading and prayer. We then need to focus on the truths we are learning, understanding how awesome it is to be the recipient of such abundant grace and the object of limitless mercy. When we examine salvation and the gift of the Cross, there is no other way to behave than with thanks.

It is interesting when one begins to search through the Word how many fruits we are to bear as Christians. Today I want to focus on bearing the fruit of genuine gratitude. What things are you thankful of as a result of being rooted in Him?

Just a Lump

There are days when I just feel like I'm a lump of clay: bumpy, pretty useless, and just a big 'ole mess. I look in the mirror and I think, "What am I doing?" I wonder at my life, seeing the faults and failures and missed opportunities. When those days come, it's incredibly easy to want to give up. However, I've learned something very important: My life is a lump of clay in the hands of the loving, faithful Potter. That means that I'm not just a useless lump, but rather a lump chock full of potential.

Sometimes I get ahead of God and begin to make my own plans. I begin to petition Him for what I think is best for my life. I start to design my own future, with very good ideas. Then it happens; I realize that my good is nothing in light of His great. Sometimes I wonder if God is watching me and shaking His head, smiling with exasperation and love, and wondering when I'll trust Him enough to just pray, "Thy will be done." The nation of Israel did that and God shared with them through the prophet Jeremiah just what a loving Father does when that happens:

He said, ² “Go down to the potter’s shop, and I will speak to you there.”
³ So I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel.
⁴ But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he
crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. ⁵ Then the Lord
gave me this message: ⁶ “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter
has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand. ~Jeremiah 18:2-6

Sometimes God has to take us up, pound us down, and reshape us for His purpose. There are times I've made myself into a plate when God wants me to be a pitcher, I'm sure. Or times that I've just taken my life in my own hands, gotten knocked around, and been chipped or even shattered. But the Potter scoops me up, pounds me out, and lovingly reshapes me for His delight. Sometimes when I hit my point of desperation, God begins to do this work and I actually question Him. I begin to think, "Are you sure this is what You want to do? Wouldn't such-and-such be a better idea?" In my pride, I am blinded to the folly of questioning my Creator, the foolishness of doubting His wisdom and love.

Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "He did not make me"?
Can the pot say of the potter, "He knows nothing"? ~Isaiah 29:16b

Really, can the pottery every know better what it's purpose is than the potter who made it? How silly of us! It has to be understood that as the clay, we are merely a vessel made by One who knows so much more than we. I take great comfort in that truth. I love that I am not responsible for making all of the choices that impact my life and the lives of those in my family; there is a loving Potter who knows what He wants us to be and I just need to trust Him to shape us all. I need to stop jumping off of the Potter's wheel, to stop hiding when I know He needs to re-shape me and pummel out my rebellion and fears with loving hands, to stop being fearful of what I might turn out to be. There is an intrinsic need in each of us to connect with Who made us, and yet still we hide from His hands when He reaches to mold us. It's time to start loving the process, even the painful parts. To stop disparaging yourself when you look in the mirror, and begin to understand the amazing potential of every life that is submitted to the Potter.

Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand. ~Isaiah 64:8

It's the Little Things

My husband rocks. He's an awesome guy, a great dad, a wonderfully sweet husband ... and he's all mine! It's easy to look at grand gestures and think, "Wow, what a romantic thing to do!" or "How sweet that he does things like that after all this time." And that's true. However, it's the day to day little things that speak so loudly of how much he loves me and what a man of integrity he is. Every morning, he gets up without complaint, goes to work, and then comes home. He doesn't come home asking for time to himself, but jumps right in with the kids and enjoys being Daddy. He helps with dinner when I ask (or even makes it if I have to be gone that evening!), helps around the house without me asking (he's better at it than I am, in some areas), and never once questions why something might not be done (he truly understands the principle of grace). We have food to eat, a home to live in, and even a few luxuries. All of this is because my husband loves us. He meets our needs: physical, emotional, spiritual. He does it with a smile, with a quiet consistency that is all too easy to overlook sometimes, and with love for us.

It can be easy to overlook the parts of our lives that have become habitual, but I think it's time to show my husband how grateful I am and how blessed we are as a family to have someone who so selflessly and tirelessly shows his love for us every day!

Relationships: Where do we start?

If any of the gals who has ever been in my youth group or Sunday school class are reading this, they are already rolling their eyes. Some of them are married with kids now, and they still like to imitate me. "Don't date," they mock. "You're the bride of Christ." Or the one piece of advice a certain group seems to remember more than any other: "Just wear a turtle neck and jeans next time..." (in response to a young lady complaining of being cold on a date!). They all laugh when they talk about me, or use exasperated voices. I wonder, sometimes, if anything I've said to any of "my girls" has really gotten through?

If it hasn't, it will. I pray for all of "my girls" and even the girls that I don't know to get these truths. I know one girl who has still never dated, and never been kissed. I heard from another one not too long ago who told me she finally realized she was worth more than dating. I've heard back from some that said they wished they had listened. Myself? Well, the reason this subject is a passion of mine is that I wished I had clearly heard the voice of my mentor when she said similar things to me.

The issue really isn't dating. It never has been. That's just the symptom.

Relationships with other fill needs in our own life, or complement who we are. Often, young women date because they aren't comfortable on their own. They can't stand being single. We see thirty-somethings who are still single proudly tossing their hair and strutting with confidence. We don't usually see teens and twenties doing the same. That's because we so rarely recognize our own self-worth and we look to others to affirm it.

The closer I got to God, the more intimate I became with the Holy Lover of my soul who wooed me without tiring, the more I began to see things clearly. I was nineteen when I made choices that changed my life forever. I was twenty when someone reached my heart with the truth that no guy, no friend, no job ... nothing! ... could fill the need in me to be loved and to feel good about who I was. I was saved, no doubt, and I loved God. I just hadn't totally opened myself to accepting His love. Once I did that, it was no big challenge to dedicate my heart to Him.

As a wife right now, I am loved, provided for, cherished, valued, and have everything any woman could dream of in her prince charming! It would never cross my mind to flirt with another man, go on dates with them, or seek fulfillment outside the safe haven of my marriage. That would lessen, if not destroy, the bonds of my covenant with my husband. As the Bride of Almighty God, I have no less fulfillment. Before I married my husband, God became my only lover. I would no less have dreamed of cheating on God, than I would on my husband today.

Every time we date, or even have a close friendship that gains import in our lives, that person rivals God for first place. This is not God's will. Allow God to complete you, to fulfill you, to validate you, and to love you. Then you will not find yourself needing to go hither, thither, and yon looking for a mate. And when the time is right, God will bring you to one who will cherish you as you deserve as a Princess belonging to the King of Kings. Settling for less only ends in heart ache, yet we do it all the time. Why not try letting your Beloved woo you? Why not trust Him and find your solace in Him? Why not spend this time letting the Bridegroom affirm who you are, and trust your Heavenly Father for the person and the time to find your earthly mate?

What are you looking at?

Isaiah 45:22 says, "Look to Me, and be saved..."

What are you looking at this morning? I know I started out looking at the mess I had to clean, the school work yet to complete, the bills I'm not sure how we're going to pay, and the dreary rain out the window. It's no wonder I was feeling self-pity and discouragement. No where does God tell us to look at our problems and become frustrated. No, He bids us to look at Him and see our salvation.

When I look to God, truly look at God, I can see naught but His glory. It makes everything else fade and realigns my priorities. I am overcome by His grace, and that fact that as whiny, self-pitying, and obstinate as I can be, He still calls me His Beloved. I look at my sin, which overwhelms me on a daily basis, and bask in His mercy.

Suddenly, all of the things I saw when I got out of bed this morning were reduced to a part of life, and my focus became His love. When I look at God, I understand His greatness. When I look at God, I am touched by His love. When I look at God, I am changed in His glory. When I look at God, my heart begins to look more like His.

It is time to be more intentional with how I live; to look -intentionally- at God and the gift of salvation, before I look anywhere else or at anything else. To pray, to listen, to seek, to meditate on the "things above, not on things below" and to know Him "in the power of his resurrection" and the "fullness of his glory." What are you looking at today?

Not I, But God Alone

This morning I read a few chapters out of the novel I am currently reading (The Knight and The Dove, by Lori Wick). I enjoy any books by Lori Wick because they are so uplifting. However, this morning her writing quick became my devotional topic. A woman was thanked for her efforts by her husband, and she smiled and said, "Not I, but God alone." This gentle reminder was earth shattering enough, but then Wick delved into the thoughts of the husband. He observed of his godly wife that she was a woman in whom God had surely moved.

I began to think about my life. Lately, I've been under a lot of stress and I wonder how encouraging I've been. Not nearly as uplifting as I should be, surely. This worry is actually a sin; it reveals a lack of trust in my Lord. I want to be able to look at every situation and say, not I but God alone! This means I know He is indeed sovereign, He is indeed my Lord, and He is worthy of my trust. Likewise, I pray that I will live in such a way that my husband, children, and everyone around me will be able to look at my life and think, now here is a woman in whom God has surely moved.

Where are you today? Are you in a place to look at your life and say, "Not I, but God alone"? This means that even the things that we do, we acknowledge happen only by the grace of God. The things around us are in His hands and we need to step back, release our will and our efforts, and allow God alone to determine the course we need to pursue. I believe firmly that this attitude will make each one of us a life that shows the fingerprints of the Master Potter, and others will be able to say of us, "This is a life in whom God has surely moved."

However, more important than that is the voice of God saying, "You are a life in whom I have surely moved! I love you, my daughter!"

Modesty: Frumpy or Feminine?

I'm going to include just one more post on modesty to finish out Modest Fashion Week. I'd love to get some of your feedback, experiences, etc.!

To me, modesty is more than being covered. It embraces the spirit of the woman. I am always covered. I used to blame my weight and fashion trends if cleavage showed (it is VERY hard to have any kind of neckline not showing my cleavage, to be honest), then decided there were no excuses and I needed to pick it up. Now, I veer towards frumpy. I've got 2-3 tops that look good and the rest are your basic tee that I pair with sweats or jeans, usually wrinkled and just out of the drier.

There has to be middle ground. And there is! Modestly is embracing the fact that God gave you an attractive body that is meant to be desirable to your husband. It is understanding that it is not meant for the pleasure of anyone else's spouse, or the unattached person. However, it is not being dumpy, either. It is being feminine. There is nothing wrong with being pretty; it's being provocative that we need to beware of. Many time, it's our attitudes, body language, and facial expressions that turn pretty into provocative, or innocence into a siren's call.

Embrace your femininity. Enjoy accessorizing your outfits. Wear those cute earrings, bold heels, and sporty bag. Don't use extra skin to draw attention to your outfits; all that does is take away from the essence of who you are. Don't fall into the trap that I did and go to the other extreme and not care at all, as long as you had clothes on. I am learning that not only do my husband and others enjoy my modest and feminine attire, but so do I. It makes me feel good about who I am, and makes it easier for me to enjoy wearing all the hats of a woman.

Phenomenal Woman

Have you read the poem by Maya Angelou "Phenomenal Woman"? It shows a confidence in inner beauty, in the nuances of femininity, and in the qualities that shine from the deepest part of a woman's soul. Our culture embraces poems such as this, and rightly so. God made man, and God made woman. Each was made unique, with different purposes, personalities, and giftings. Rather than compete with each other, we should complement each other. We should embrace all that makes us woman, and what it truly means.

That begs the question: what does it mean to be a woman? It means being the fairer sex, or the gentler gender. We have the instinctual need to nurture things around us. In some, that manifests through motherhood. In others, through the gift of hospitality. Some women have the gift of nurturing growth in the garden, others in people, still others in themselves and relationships. We have that "sixth sense" also known as "woman's intuition." Women tend to be incredibly tuned in to the emotions, thoughts, and feelings that are present in those around them, especially those they love. We can calm with a gentle touch, a soft whisper, or a smile. We can instill confidence with a wink, a thumbs up, or an encouraging word.

The flip side is that we can tear down those closest to us with a single word, disparaging glance, or lack of attention. We can destroy dreams, slow growth, or influence moods. As women, we carry incredible influence. The Proverbs 31 woman was an asset to her family, which we should all strive to be. However, Proverbs reveals the result of a contentious, bickering woman being the destruction of a home.

God wants us to understand all of the gifts He's entrusted us with. He wants us to grasp how phenomenally He made us. He wants us to embrace our gifts, our influence, and our lot in life. It was never His will for us to compete with men, but to complement them. God never intended our physical body to become more important to our self esteem than our inward beauty. Learn to embrace your uniqueness. Revel in the liberation of being a woman. Be honored that the Almighty God created you to do just what you are doing, no matter how those around you see your efforts. YOU are PHENOMENAL!

In the Spring of Life

Yesterday we meandered around a local garden and walked the path around the lake there. We saw flowers popping up all along the way, coming up through fallen leaves, brown grass, and other signs of a lifeless winter. There is something so beautiful about the first signs of spring!

When we first arrived, we could actually smell the hyacinths blooming long before we could spot them. Their scent was so pungent that it overwhelmed all else. It got me to thinking:
Life is like this!

In life, we go through season. Some of those seasons are like the winter and it seems that everything that we had nurtured so carefully, and all of the beauty we had cultivated, and all of the potential we were striving to fulfill are all dead and brown and fruitless. However, winter is never a time of death, only a time of dormancy. And it is during that dormancy that new life begins to sprout, and hope scents the air, and then the beauty is revealed as it pushes through the last season's remnants to share its color and aroma and strength.

Don't be discouraged if you've seen the apparent death of some dreams, or relationships, or emotions. Be encouraged that if you are in winter, that means spring is approaching. Spring is the season of possibilities, of victory over the past, of potential for the future. Embrace your emerging spring, and begin to nurture the new life that is blooming inside of you.

"Let's Always Be Friends!"

At the park yesterday, my daughter encountered the daughter of an acquaintance we had played with exactly twice, nearly a year ago. They remembered each other, took off running with a third little girl, and had a wonderful time. Nearing the end of our visit to the park, my daughter began to push the other girls on their swings. She smiled at them and giggled, then said "Let's always be friends!" The one little girl pondered that for a moment, then shot my daughter a beautiful smile and shouted, "Okay!"

Don't you wish it were that easy as adults? I have a hard time putting myself out there, undergoing the scrutiny of those who don't know me, and making friends. Even with the friends I've had for years, I doubt we had that innocent first meeting and simply made a decision to always be friends. It takes us time, it takes ups and downs, and it doesn't always work out.

But there is another innocent, pure offer of friendship that is open to all of us. God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, has said to each one of us, "Beloved, let's be friends. Let me always be there for you, let's always love each other, let's always share our joy and tears, and let's never forget this covenant." The next time you are lonely, I encourage you to recognize the purity of this offer; there is no hidden clause, no one waiting for you to fail so that they can walk away, and no one talking about you when you aren't there to defend yourself. There is simply a God who loves you, desires you, and cherishes you. He wants a relationship with you, and He bids you: "Let's always be friends."

When did the sisterhood disband?

I used to think of myself as rather modern and edgy. After all I sport tattoos, a nose ring, and often find myself wearing black. I like short, spiky haircuts, and enjoy playing with funky makeup when I'm going out (all five times a year, if I'm lucky!). I enjoy a good alternative band, and have been known to start dancing to a solid beat.

Then, I began to see that I was more of a hippie. I believe in all natural products, holistic remedies, and peace. I believe in love and acceptance, but with truth. I believe in making my voice heard. If there is an injustice occurring, I believe that I not only have the right, but the responsibility to stand up for the oppressed. I believe in breastfeeding~ wherever and whenever my child is hungry, for as long as we are wanting to do so. I believe in community and shared efforts to effect the greatest change possible.

Now, I'm wondering: just where do I fit? The more I look around, the more I long for the simpler days of old. I'm not talking June Cleaver, nor am I thinking the Roaring Twenties. I'm not even thinking turn of the last century, or pre-Civil war times. I'm thinking of the days of homesteaders, Davy Crocket, and Manifest Destiny. Back when being a woman made you a part of the unspoken sisterhood. When women banded together, to strengthen each other's weaknesses and to fulfill needs that couldn't be met by just one person.

Do you think about those days? There is a quote that I love: "There is a secret ... it is not that birth is easy, but that women are strong." I love it because it intimates a secret knowledge, or source of power, and emphasizes the strength of Woman. Don't get me wrong; I'm so far from feminism a lot of my friends think I'm repressed. I'm not into women's lib or "I am woman, hear me roar." But I do value the innate strength and beauty that God made intrinsic to woman. He gave her the ability to bear children, to ripen with milk and provide sustenance for those children, to love a husband and support him so that he can support a family, to meet emotional needs and to act as the glue that holds not only a family unit, but an entire society together.

When did we stop embracing that core strength? I spent the last twenty-four hours helping a friend who is a new mother. No one shared with her the beauty of birth; they had only prepared her for the pain and asked if she was afraid. No one shared with her the beauty of breastfeeding; they had only told her it would be uncomfortable and to "deal." No one shared with her the beauty of joining the ranks of a legion of women who shared this one experience; they left her alone. I was appalled. As I sat there, helping her learn how to release her milk when she became engorged (breaching both our comfort zones!) and showing her different positions to hold her newborn to make it easier, as we talked about what motherhood was about (more than the diaper changing and late night feedings), I began to wonder: When did the sisterhood disband?

Women used to share the birth experience. They knew how to strengthen the young women for the road ahead, equipping them with the tools they would need to be a wife, a mother, and a woman. They seemed to have an uncanny sense for remedies, for advice, and for solidly standing beside one another to create an impenetrable force. There was a unity that is lacking in today's society. There is no more village to raise a child, and the child suffers because of it.